I don't know if I am married or divorced. My paperwork has been sent to the judge and is in the the pile to be signed. I talked to my husband last night and he said he didn't feel very well and not to bring the kids over. He sounded awful but wanted to talk to the kids. The kids thought he sounded like he had been crying and he told both kids he loved them and he was proud of them. I have struggled every time I have spoke with him since he moved out about not telling him I love him. So instead I told him to be safe. That was about seven thirty and those were the last words he said.
I sent him a text at 6 in the morning when my son and I were doing his paper route and he didn't answer. I sent him a text around lunch time about our son. I couldn't find his car in the parking lot at work so I went by his house.
When the garage door opened and his car was there I knew he passed away. I ran up the stairs yelling and screaming to make a ruckus in case I was wrong. I found him on the bathroom floor with a pillow under his head. A scream came out instantly when I saw him. I dropped my purse and threw my phone. Somehow I called 911. They told me to leave the house until the workers arrived because it would be treated like a crime scene.The emergency team came quickly. I was relieved when Terry,the EMT came in, who I knew from being a coach with youth football. I had tears on my cheeks and they called the medical examiner and declared him dead at 6 pm. When the Sheriff's department arrived I told them my in-laws would be there in a few minutes and they would need to tell them my husband was dead. I couldn't do that. There were so many police cars outside his place they had to know something was really wrong. My mother-in-law's cry was so painful to hear.
I know it sounds crazy looking at it in print, but I called my attorney because I was the one who found him and the phone emergency worker said his death was going to be treated like a criminal investigation. And that yes that means I probably have watched too much T.V.
I cried on the porch talking to an officer and because I didn't know if I was married or divorce and I didn't have paperwork in hand they said I was legally married and the next of kin.
I had to call my husband's boss so they had time to figure things out for Monday, fill out paperwork for the police and find someplace for my kids to go while I stayed with the police. My mother-in-law called all her side of the family while I was still talking to the police.
I called my mom and my sister. Both of them didn't believe me at first. When my husbands aunt and brother came, my mom decided she needed to come. She stayed with me until the police let me go. The Sheriff's office was kind. One of my husband's best friends worked for the Sheriff's office and the team let him know, so our name didn't come across his desk.
The medical examiner let us all see my husband's body before they took him to the office. I asked because my husband wanted to be cremated but his mom couldn't handle that and those choices couldn't be made until Monday when we had an appointment with the Mortuary. They had him in a blue plaid print quilt. He looked pale but like he was sleeping and in a blanket he would have picked out himself.
When they were taking him to the car and I had to talk to the Medical Examiner about where his body should go and how to prepare the body. My husband's aunt was quite upset with me for asking those type of questions to the family. She told me I threw him away. I took a big breath in and didn't say anything mean back. But I wanted to. She was the only person there besides me that saw how bad his nightmares were and she said I threw him away. That hurt.
The detective leading the investigation needed to take my husband's cell phone and any electronic devices.
My husband hadn't been suicidal for about nine months. He was actually doing better emotionally that he was doing for a long time.
I knew this day would happen, but it was still a shock. He was doing so much better I thought a day like today was out of the question.
The police believed he died of natural causes, but nothing could be closed until a toxicology report came back.
